Restaurant Review: Golly's

What's the first LP you ever bought? Chances are it's framed and hanging on the walls at Golly's. Winner of the "best credit-card folder" award from my 2009 Restaurant Round-up, Golly's gives you all the nostalgia with none of the neuralgia. Dig? My first LP (vinyl of course) was K-Tel's Fantastic, which came out in 1973, I believe. I remember my parents buying it for me at Sears. I remember walking past the 1970's furniture department to the record department. Does Sears even still sell records? What an album! Whatever happened to Gunhill Road? Anyway, I was pleased as spiked punch when I was seated at Golly's and saw Fantastic on the wall right next to my booth. At Golly's, the platters on the table aren't the only platters you'll love! As I gazed at the cover, which I suddenly realized in a humbling ephiphany actually depicts the 7 colors of the spectrum--yes, Roy G. Biv himself--I recalled such favorites as "Back When My Hair was Short" by the aforementioned Gunhill Road and "Hocus Pocus" by Focus, just to name a couple from this 22-track cornucopia (22 Hits!! 20!!). You can imagine how sweetly thrilled I was when the server approached my table with my frosted glass of Squirt and apparently noticing me looking fondly at the album cover, stated, "You know, if you press the PLAY button beneath the cover, you can hear the album!" I had no idea. I mashed the button with enthusiasm and sat back with my Squirt as "Tie a Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree" dangled above my head from the ceiling like some musical sword of Damocles. I was in hog heaven! These were the songs that the other children in elementary school were always talking about--owning that album was possibly the last time I was ever "with it." This is just the kind of experience that Golly's will make you feel. The placemat was wonderful. It had cartoons of famous inventors on one side and cartoons of their inventions on the other. The puzzle? Match up the inventor with the invention. Sounds simple, but I had trouble with which innovator came up with AstroTurf and which one invented the Hitching Post. The menu was amazing, printed on placemat-style paper. In a place like Golly's, you have to order typical diner fare. What I had in mind was the pupusas on a pu-pu platter, and that's exactly what I got! By this point, Jerry Jeff Walker's unbelievably great "L.A. Freeway" was barreling down my brain folds, and it was time to order dessert. I passed on the dessert special, the Sea Cucumber a la Rasputin, and instead had a more traditional after-dinner sweet treat--the Haggis Volcano! Yes, folks, Golly's serves my all-time favorite dessert. If you haven't tasted hot haggis erupting like lava from a rich chocolate cake, then you haven't lived, my friend! The wonderful aroma of haggis drifted toward my nostrils like a fresh spring breeze as I gently broke the chocolate Etna with my fork. The mingling flavors of haggis and fudge tumbled on my tastebuds like acrobats. It wasn't till Maureen McGovern's heartsick "Morning After" fell over me like a parachute of sadness that I realized my dessert was gone. So let's see. I got to hear my favorite songs as I ate my favorite dessert, the wondrous, magical Haggis Volcano. Together, they make a great combo, and make me happy to give Golly's an enthusiastic Five Original Stars!