Monday, May 03, 2010

Special Report: The Ivory Satin Cake at Sleepy Chapel Sandwich Shoppe

I had a very disturbing and upsetting experience the other week at Sleepy Chapel Sandwich Shoppe, an experience I must share with you. As you know, for me, the Sleepy Chapel is already a place that carries an atmosphere of anxiety, so having this event occur there merely doubles how much of an ordeal this experience was for me.

After my typical Sleepy Sandwich meal, the Calamari Po Boy, I decided to throw caution to the winds and order dessert. The dessert itself was fabulous, but I rue the day that I ever ordered the Ivory Satin Cake, because doing so flung me into an entangling Kafkaesque nightmare from which I still have not recovered.

Just picture all those computer wires beneath your desk that you could never dream of untangling, and that is the sort of maddening, devilishly frustrating bureaucratic terror trap I have been cast into.

Now, at this point you're thinking to yourself (probably), "He got into some Kafkaesque nightmare because he ordered Ivory Satin Cake?" I know--sounds crazy. But hang on, because you're going to be shocked.

The cake was great. I jokingly said to the server, "You know, I would love the recipe!" The server, whose eyes were glazed, and whose head was lolling on his neck, slurred, "Sure, thing. I'll paper-clip it to the check." I shook my head sternly. "No, man," continued the disoriented waitron, "We do it all the time."

Imagine my shock when in the mail today I received a bill from Sleepy Chapel. A bill for the amount of $500! What?! I thought to myself, "They're billing me $500--for what?" Luckily it was an itemized bill...and guess what I was being charged for? You got it. Five hundred bucks for the recipe for Ivory Satin Cake.

I was floored. I was flabbergasted. I was flummoxed. I immediately got on the phone and spoke to a manager.

I was told that the Sleepy Chapel Sandwich Shoppe charges a recipe fee! I tried to explain to the manager that I had been only kidding, and that I would never have asked for the recipe had I known that I would be charged anything at all, much less five hundred dollars.

I'm sharing this tale with you so that you may learn from my experience. Don't even joke about wanting a dessert recipe from Sleepy Chapel...because the joke will be on you!

Caveat Emptor!

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